We have all heard the term “go with the flow,” typically used to describe being chill and surrendering- what will be, will be. Just seeing what happens and being okay with how life decides to play things out. I always thought I was a go with the flow type of person, but I believe until life has pulled the rug out from under you, that is when you can really tell what type of person you really are.
My name is Christina. I have a blog called, Grow with the Flow, or some of you may know me as “Secrets of Sunshine” on Instagram. I talk all about personal growth through the lenses of travel, wellness (mental health and self love) and lifestyle design. But I didn’t start out that way. I started with a plan, a glorious plan to quit my job and travel around the world. Which I did end up doing. Kind of. I always thought I was a go with the flow type of person. But it wasn’t until that huge dream of mine, all ended abruptly.
I grew up checking all the boxes. I got good grades. Had nice friends. Didn’t get in trouble. I did competitive cheerleading and listened to my parents. A few days after my high school graduation, my entire family unit shattered. I found out everything wasn’t as it appeared to be. I found out those “weird feelings” I had, were valid. I was being emotionally abused. I found out my dad was a class act narcissist. I found out that if I didn’t abandon what I thought what was right and wrong, and comply with my dad’s orders, I would be excommunicated from every person who had ever raised me (my entire dad’s side of the family).
My mom, sister and I fled a toxic situation, “leaving behind” my autistic brother, whom we have grieved the ambiguous death of. That was the first day I realized, I was the author of my story, and I was going to make it everything I wanted it to be.
I still went through life checking boxes. I went to college. Was involved in clubs. Graduated with honors. Then, I went traveling. I went to Thailand, and it changed my entire life. I came home and decided the normative 9-5 life was not for me at all. People were concerned. They thought I lost my mind. I would tell them my grand dreams of international travel and full immersion to better understand people and various cultures. They would tilt their head, smile and wish me the best of luck.
Two years later, it finally happened. I packed my bags and set off. I had no return ticket and I was ready for it. I wrote about my adventures. Made little videos to go along with my writings. I was inspiring people. It felt amazing. Companies started reaching out about interviewing me about traveling and what not. I was over the moon. I think I cried when I got my first email. Haha. Anyways. Life was good. Then, life pulled the rug…
My traveling partner (my now, ex-fiance) became ill. Like very ill. His kidney failed, and we had to be medically evacuated home for him to receive a kidney transplant. It felt like my life and dreams were shattered right before my eyes. We were supposed to be flying to Africa the day we walked into the hospital. I was supposed to be living this nomadic life. We were supposed to be healthy and happy, proving everyone wrong. Life wasn’t supposed to do this!! I broke down. I went into a serious depression. Not very “go with the flow” of me. I stopped blogging. I stopped sharing with others. I stopped dreaming. Life felt pointless. I felt like a fraud and a failure. I didn’t know where to start to even remotely feel better. I let this go on for far too long, until one day I had enough. I went to therapy. And again, my entire life was changed.
I was reminded of my strength. I was reminded of my resilience. I was reminded that I was still the author of my story. I remembered I had a story to tell. I remembered how it felt to inspire others to do the same. To share. To be brave. To live the life they have dreamed of. I started my blog over. And that is how “Grow with the Flow” was born. Through literally growing through all the things I have gone through and having the courage to share them with others. I aim to be a resource for others, not only for inspiration, but for information. I want others to know they are not alone. I want others to understand THEY are the author of their story and anything is possible with belief and a little help from others.
Thank you so much for taking the time to get to know me and why I grow with the flow!! I would love to connect with each and every one of you online and in person! So you can find me talking all about mental health, my self- love journey, following your dreams alongside controversial topics others don’t like to talk about, sex, weed, (you get the jist) on my instagram (https://www.instagram.com/secretsofsunshine/ ) and on my blog (http://www.growwitheflow.com/)!
Much love and sunshine!
xoxox
Christina
